San Francisco I Used To Know
Today’s journal title is inspired by Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know”, I pose the question if the “someone” has changed, or has my perspective in life changed.
San Francisco is home, it’ll always be home. I’ve been blessed to live in the city for over 27 years. I always have a place to fall back to if Oregon doesn’t pan out after graduation. But it’s hard to see the news and what feels like a violent physical crime is happening everyday.
Don’t get me wrong, SF has been a piece of work for decades, but you still felt safe to walk around in the day time. In crowded streets. In most neighborhoods. Now it feels like everybody and anybody could get it…. even the unspoken rule of not attacking elderly. Yet in this last week, there has been over 5 reported strong-arm attacks on the elderly (added to the dozens more around the Bay Area in 2021 alone). Hearing family and friends know co-workers, or themselves who have been attacked or robbed in this past year… it just hurts.
I don’t have a solution or know what to do. I’m more media and hyper aware than the average person to not become desensitized, but also know to check sources and get a better understanding of what’s happening. Yet, watching any video of a crime being done in a place I call home, no matter the race, no matter the area, no matter who the perpetrators are, it hurts. It can take one situation to fuck up a person’s whole worldview and create generational trauma. You simply worry about your kinfolk.
I remember days of walking through Chinatown at 3am, through the Stockton tunnel, and around Union Square just looking at the lights. Talking to the houseless and just hearing their stories. Then waiting for Muni to start back up to take the bus home. Even further back, just a child walking to the cornerstone for a bottle of Vanilla Coke and a bag of Hot Cheetos. No thoughts that you have to be aware of your surroundings. No worries in the world.
I again ask the question: Is the world becoming more violent or has it always been but now with technology we’re able to see more of it/ become exposed and consume more of it as it becomes our reality. Is it that people are becoming more desperate due to Covid lockdowns, or is it because of more opportunities with less witnesses around? Or am I just less naive of the world around me, losing the innocence of that kid who walked himself to school at the 4th grade. One can ponder.
