Fungs
Working as a Marriage, Couples, Family therapist, every day I hear someone talk about their family. Whether a hated or estranged sibling, an abusive or overbearing parent, or a role model grandparent who has past away; at some point when the week is done, I end up reflecting on my own life and family. On this recent trip home to SF, I got to see family that I haven’t seen in years…. the cousin Fungs.
My cousins were the only family I grew up with who were all around the same age as me, all my other cousins were a decade plus older than me from Stockton or other parts of California on my mom’s side. Even my first cousins are a decade+ older, so they were always people I looked up to than they were peers. The Fungs, who we share the same great-grandparents on our dad’s side, are all the same age around us between the ages 29 to 36. With me being 32 this year and my sister turning 35, we spent some of our better adolescents and early teen years with our cousins down in SoCal, and them up in the Bay.
Melissa, Monica, Marilyn, Ellen, and the only boy, Alvin. Back in February was the first time I got to see all 5 siblings together at the same time in over a decade since our cousin’s wedding. With them moving around to Boston, Irvine, and even Japan, it was hard to get to see all 5 in one place along with my aunt & uncle. Seeing them all together brought back a flood of memories and so much joy in the moment, especially knowing that they were all in San Francisco to celebrate the marriage of the eldest, Melissa. The feeling was indescribable.
When we were younger, I was a brat. I will admit that. My cousins have definitely seen me at my worst as a kid when my sister would blow out my candle, or I wouldn’t get my way. I’ve had my fair share of temper tantrums around them like when I got in trouble for spitting in the youngest, Ellen’s hair, trying to spit at my sister, or started throwing my arms around as baby Ellen stood above me staring and my mom yelling “look, even the baby thinks you look stupid” in Chinese. Ellen, I’m sorry you got the brunt of a lot of my shit lol.
There were also good times like our few McDonald runs where I had to learn the importance of coins to add up to a cheeseburger and fries, Alvin teaching me Mortal Kombat on the PC, running up and down their plastic play structure they had inside the house, watching the family practice Aikido and their ceiling punching bag, setting off smoke bombs in my garage, and just so many more random memories. Melissa being another older sister, Alvin who I could moreso relate to, Monica who was always real, Marilyn who was my peer, and Ellen who always got us into trouble (jk). They weren’t only family, they were friends as well.
Something that I didn’t realize as a kid, but only better understood recently is my Uncle Ken, and how he would hang out with us during the day time, then at night I would see him leave for work at the hospital as an X ray technician (not sure if this was his formal title). I have this specific memory sleeping in their living room, and seeing him walk by the kitchen and asking my parents where he’s going, and they said to work. I was confused because my parents worked during the day. Not until having worked graveyard shits myself did I really understand the extent of what that means, while him and my aunt also raised the kids at home too.
Fast forward to today, my cousins all are in careers that impact the community and the future. With a teacher, doctors, nurses, and more official titles that I can not pronounce, my cousin Fungs are some of the most important people in my life. I’m continued to be inspired by all that y’all do (and all that y’all eat).
Love always,
Casey
